So, just put your foot down...but do it out of love.

I got some excellent advice from a good friend. We were discussing the fact that I get upset around Christmas time with all the excess that our family spends in time and money on "stuff" around the holidays. I know, I know it is supposed to be about giving but it should be about the giving to others and not spoiling ourselves or our children. My loving wife ( and I am not being facetious) told me that I just like to complain. I took her comment for granted but I was discussing how ticked off I was with the holidays with a good friend and his short and immediate comment was " So! Just put your foot down...but do it out of love."

How true it is that God gives us good advice from the people he puts in our lives. I was not willing to listen to my wife but when someone else close to me says what should be obvious to me THEN I listen. We all could have a good dose of not complaining and grumbling. If it bothers me I should patiently discuss what is bothering me with my wife and do it out of love for her and not my perceived righteousness.

How good is it to have a wife dedicated to beautiful decorations around the holidays and the fact that she does it without complaint even in the face of her own struggles. I should thank God for her and tell her how much I appreciate her efforts. But I should also have the guts to discuss with her when the effort she is making is getting out of control. At some point men have to lead but we must do so out of love.

Happiness is a state of mind and not a set of circumstances

When is the last time you said or thought something positive? If it has been in the last hour or so you are good...no worries...don't even read the next few thoughts...go...have a good day. If it has been days, like me, then...let's talk. I am ticked off, sad, thoughtless, irritated and generally unhappy but other than that I am good. What makes me that way is my state of mind. Instead of enjoying the rose for its color and great smell I warn myself "...careful that rose is pretty and sure smells nice but it will prick you.". What a shame!

My wife has reminded me that to be happy you must stay positive. In other words you have to "choose" to be happy. We have a choice! We can choose to be happy and not sad or irritated. Someone once said that "Happiness is a state of mind and not a set of circumstances". How true! How True! The next time your child grabs the drapes, jumps up on the leg of the couch, and screams "Hey Mom! Watch this!" as he proceeds to swing from the drapes and into the window imitating Spider Man (thank goodness the rod broke before he went through the window) instead of screams and threats of punishment you just laugh and enjoy a healthy, capable boy imitating his heroes.

Every day is full of challenges. Our goal and prayer should be to see the beauty in what God has provided and choose to see the real picture of happiness instead of the illusion of the Adversary.