My wife and I have been teetering on the edge of divorce pretty much ever since we got married 14 years ago. Yes I said the "D" word. Divorce is a very real thing. Some of us bury our heads in the sand and say this will never happen to me and then you wake up and you or your wife is threatening to "get a lawyer". Why does it come to this? Is it the young kids that keep us running crazy; is it the high pressure work situation; is it the stay at home mom with no time for herself, maybe it is selfishness? Whatever the reason...Marriage is tough.
I have never understood my wife. We come together in brief moments to discuss serious issues and we would end up at each others throats. The arguments generally stemmed from my inability to see her side, at least as far as she was concerned. Men and women we created different and that is that! We think differently, and thank God for that. If I had to go thru my life thinking as a woman does I would go crazy. There is just way too much going on in a woman's mind for a man to keep up with.
Anyway, my point in this blog is for a man to slow down... I will finish this later...I have to go help get the @X$$% kids ready! ...I'm back...why is it that when a man chooses to do something "selfish" an emergency always comes up...I guess it is just bad timing on my part...crap!
What I was trying to say is that a man needs to slow down and try and get to know this woman whom he has been joined with. My favorite time of the day is in the early morning, hopefully before the kids are awake, and my wife and I sit at the kitchen table over a fresh, hot cup of coffee and just talk. Not the high powered talk of finances or life situations, but just the simple talk of 'what is your day like today?'. I am convinced that simple is always better. I know that in the times I have sat with my wife, over a cup of coffee in the peaceful times of the day, I have learned more about her and how her mind works than by observing her actions thru the day. A woman's mind is so 'full', thoughts run like lighting thru their minds and if you are not careful you can get blind sided by a bolt. It is good for a man to see this...it can give him perspective on the amazing struggle that a woman faces every day. A man can almost never see this challenge she faces unless he slows down long enough to sit with her and just listen. For those of you that don't like coffee I would say first that there may be some thing wrong with you and second Coke probably works just as well...no excuses! The point is to make a quite time with your wife one of the most important activities that you participate in your day. You may just see that she is probably one of the most interesting person you will meet that day.
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3 comments:
I don’t drink coffee – and yes there is something wrong with me, something very wrong. I usually can repair, restore anything. Why, I’m even known here at work at the resident jeweler. Sometimes, on issues that lurk deep within ones mind – I can usually provide a unique perspective to ones problems. But when it comes to figuring out the thoughts and behavior of my wife – I’m completely at a loss. Frustrated is my middle name! Holding on to what’s left of my sanity is my game!
I watched something on youtube the other day that explained it to me this way. A woman’s mind is like storage shed filled with boxes. Each box is connected, intertwined, molded - whatever you want to call it, my point is, this explains why a woman is incapable of sticking to one issue until it is resolved. This is why men avoid any form of conversation because we can only focus on one issue at a time. That’s why we get frustrated when the wife brings up another issue before the other one is resolved. For example, if my wife instructs me to take out the trash, I can do that. Take out the trash AND get something out of the car and you’ve lost me. While those two things are not issues per say, it does go along the same line that you can bet that one of those items on the list is NOT going to get done. You can bet that the issue we started out with will not get resolved because you’ve added all this other crap! [take a breath] Ya know, our minds are made up of the same number of boxes and not one is connected in any form or fashion. And unlike a woman’s mind, our mind is gifted with one special box – a box that has absolutely nothing in it – nothing but empty space. That’s the way we like it – that’s the way we want it. And if it is at all possible, a man will default to this empty box every chance he can. My wife calls my box ‘the screen saver’.
Well, ‘pissed off dad’, I can relate to what you’re going through. The ‘D’ word hovers over my head like a buzzard waiting for the inevitable to happen. So, to my wife, you can have your BUSY box – keep it, I don’t need it. Screen saver – ON.
10-4 on the intertwined, molded and connedted portion of a woman's mind. I guess we are just jealous. 10-4 on the multiple tasks. I have been married long enough to have trained my wife on one SPECIFIC instruction at a time.
Thanks for the insite and comments. It is important for us guys to communicate so we maintain our perspective. There is no doubt in my mind that God knew what he was doing when he created man and woman DIFFERENT. I am just having trouble sometimes figuring out why he made us SO different.
Okay I'm just going to let you men discuss this amongst yourselves. If I were to add my thoughts to the discussion it would just overwhelm you both!! But let me just say...I like coffee!!!
Sharon (wife of "ticked off dad")
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